Most guys love oral sex. Most women love oral sex. As it turns out, most humans seem to love oral sex. And, surprisingly, most people seem to enjoy performing oral sex as much as they enjoy receiving it!
And those who are rather talented at performing oral sex quite often reap some pretty good benefits from their skills. Their partners love them for it. And sex workers appreciate them taking the time to show some love. Plus, a good oral performance almost always receives a nice return of the favour.
But what about you guys (and gals) with little to no experience in performing oral sex?
Today’s blog post is specifically all about how to perform oral sex on a woman.
You may never have done it before because you’re relatively inexperienced with being intimate with women (either as a man or as a woman.) Or because you’ve done it before but you don’t really feel like you knew what you were doing. Or because you actually are quite good at it but you still wouldn’t mind learning a few more tricks.
These are all legitimate reasons! And none are reasons to be embarassed about. But when you know what you’re doing down there … It’s sure worth the time you spent figuring it out!
For the purpose of this post, however, I’m going to approach it from the standpoint for beginners.
Performing oral sex on a woman is scientifically known as cunnilingus. However, you’re probably more familiar with one or more of its more common names; “eating her out;” licking her pussy;” “going down on her;” “getting to third base;” “munching her carpet;” “dining at the Y;” and soooo many more.
Many women complain that their man has good intentions down there but has no idea what he’s doing. And, in all fairness, guys, you don’t come equipped with your own vagina to practice on, you probably don’t have the diagram of the female genitalia still memorized from Grade Nine health class and when you are faced with a live one, you’re probably not analyzing it and asking a lot of questions like “what’s this for?”
As for the women reading this, I’m going to assume you know which parts feel good to touch and where the clit is.
Now, the first step to performing oral sex on a woman is finding a woman to perform oral sex on. Many of you have partners who will be quite happy to have you practice on them. And to their lustful delight, the more you practice on them, the better you’ll get.
It’s always good to talk to your partner about your desire to improve at it. It makes them feel like you’re trying to get better at satisfying them. It also let’s them know that you’re open to feedback around what they like and don’t like. And they, undoubtedly, will be happy to have you practicing your oral skills on them.
However, some of you might not feel comfortable talking about this kind of thing – you’re more a person of action than talk. Fair enough. Then during the course of your lovemaking sessions, just keep going down on her – you will get better at it – probably quite quickly once you’re done reading this. Again, it’s doubtful she’ll mind!
On the other hand, some of you may not have a partner but want to be a pussy licking superstar for when you get one. Cool! Might I recommend you practice on a sex worker – either an escort or a massage parlour attendant. If you explain to them that you want to get better at dining at the Y, chances are they’ll be cool with it … And happy to give you feedback along the way. (And there’s a very good chance you’ll get to cum too by the time your session is done!)
As a precautionary note, I should mention that performing oral sex on women does have some limited risks around STI’s. The chances aren’t as high as other sexual activities … But there’s still a noteworthy risk.
If you, your partner or both of you would rather play it safe, there is something you can buy called a “dental dam.” These are squares of micro-thin latex that you can place between your mouth and her vagina which create a protective barrier so that you can do your thing down there and it’ll still feel fantastic for her. You can buy them online from Amazon (and other places) … And they come in a variety of flavours.
On the other hand, if you’re going at it, eventhough you’re a Prime Member, you may not be willing to wait for your dental dam to come the next day. You need it now!
In a pinch, you can modify a condom to work just as well as a dental dam. With a pair of scissors, cut both ends off the condom. Now cut a slit from one open end to the other. It will open up into a rectangle of well lubricated latex. You can place it over her vagina and you’re good to go!
Now, you’ve found the right woman, you’ve made your decision about protection, it’s time to get started. Sure, you may want to jump right in there and put your mouth on her muff … But you gotta cool your jets a bit.
Most women need a bit of wooing before you can put your face down there! Start off kissing her, massaging her neck and back, move to some of her more erogenous zones – her breasts, her thighs. Maybe gently caress her ass before moving around to her pussy. Stroke it softly to get it moist. The key is to take your time and make it enjoyable for her.
Once you think she’s in the zone, kiss your way down towards her wet pussy. She is very unlikely to protest.
But, if she does express concerns about being not as fresh as she’d like, reassure her that everything is amazing and you love it. Never make comments about smell or taste or it will immediately be game over …and you’ll never get your mouth near there again!
You’ll also want to get into a comfortable position before you start – you may be in that position for a while. You don’t want to be dealing with muscle cramps or a stiff neck while you’re just seconds away from giving her the orgasm of her life. Find a position that will allow you to enjoy what you’re about to do for a decent amount of time.
Then, slowly bring your face to a position between her thighs so you are directly facing her soft moist pussy.
Now, let me get you a map!
Don’t just rush in looking for the clitoris. There are a few parts of what you’re seeing above that you’ll want to pay particular attention to first. Afterall, she needs to get comfortable with the sensation of having your tongue down there before you can really get down to business.
You’ll probably immediately recognize the inner lips (or labia minor) which run vertically from the top of her vaginal opening to the bottom. Sometimes they won’t protrude from the vaginal opening very much and sometimes they’ll protrude quite a bit like flaps of wrinkled skin. These are what most guys know as a woman’s “pussy lips.”
However, where you will want to start is on the pair of soft puffy mounds which run outside the inner lips – the outer lips (labia majora.) This area is full of nerve endings that can give her quite a rush when stimulated.
Lick each outer lip slowly from bottom to top. Alternate sides and take your time on them. The outer lips don’t produce any natural lubricants on their own so try to make both good and wet with your tongue before you move on. While you’re doing this, she’ll be slowly getting comfortable with the idea of you down there and the physical sensation that goes along with it.
You’ll know that you’re doing it right when you hear her sigh, moan or even giggle a bit. Again, take your time. Look at it as a marathon not a race.
Once you’ve done this for a couple of minutes, move to the centre – her vaginal opening. Slide your tongue in between her inner lips at the bottom of her vaginal opening and slowly lick upwards.
If you can’t find the opening between her inner lips, gently gently place your index and middle fingers on either side of her inner lips and carefully part them to reveal the pink moist flesh within. (Be very careful with the amount of pressure you use and where your fingernails are – this area is very sensitive.)
Chances are, you’re going to find things are quite slick in here. If she’s at all stimulated, she’ll be producing a good amount of natural lubricant. Take your time to move your tongue all around in it.
A good way to judge whether she’s enjoying what you’re doing or not is by listening to the sounds she’s making. If she’s sighing or moaning, what you’re doing is good – do it more. If you start doing something different and she becomes quiet, she may not be liking it as much – go back to doing what you were doing before.
You can also gently ask her – “do you like that?” or “how’s that feel?” She might also proactively tell you what she likes. “Keep doing that” or “faster” or “be more gentle” are all constructive ways to help you get better at doing what you’re doing.
One thing I will warn you about is to be careful with what you do with your fingers. We’ve all seen porn where the guy is vigorously “finger blasting” her – thrusting his fingers in and out of her. In reality, this isn’t always appreciated. Often, the guy’s enthusiasm can lead to injuries to the vaginal wall or cause an infection due to even the slightest lack of hygiene. Sex workers particularly don’t care for this as it can lead to pain and also time off work. Discuss it with her before you try it.
Another move that looks fantastic in porn is thrusting a tongue in and out of her. It looks really phallic. In reality, your tongue is not some massive wet dildo that’s going to plunge deeply into her – it’s relatively small, somewhat malleable and she’ll barely feel what you’re doing with it while you’re trying to thrust it in and out of her. Keep licking up and down – that’s where she’ll feel the sensation on her inner lips the most.
Now, as you’re licking upwards between her inner lips, you’ll get to the top point where they meet. There, you’re going to feel a soft little mound of flesh under the skin about the size and shape of an erect bean (sometimes it can be a fair bit larger, however.) Congratulations, you’ve just discovered the clitoris!
This is where the most nerve endings are. Once you’ve spent time building up to it by licking both her outer and inner lips, it’s time to concentrate your efforts here.
There’s a few different approaches that you can take to really stimulating her clitoris. The most common way is to continue licking it. Slowly at first and then getting progressively quicker. This is the most common way to do it which usually achieves the desired result.
A more effective way, however, is to intensely stimulate it. After you’ve licked it for a bit, you’re going to want to gently form a seal around her clit with your lips – almost like you’re trying to suck on the area surrounding it. Don’t suck too hard … But just hard enough to pull it up a little bit. And while it’s being raised up from the suction, flick at it with your tongue and don’t be shy with the amount of pressure you use with your tongue. This will drive her WILD!
A similar approach you can take is by again forming a suction seal around her clit with your lips and then ever so delicately resting her clit against your top front two teeth. Then gently rub it with your tongue while the clit is being held in place against your two teeth – almost like you’re sucking the nipple of a baby’s bottle. This will cause her to see stars … Usually.
Sometimes her achieving an orgasm can be hindered by her being in the wrong headspace. Sex is a mental activity as well as a physical one. And oral sex can be even more so.
While you’re doing that, she may have concerns that she smells bad to you … Or tastes bad. Maybe she didn’t shave in a couple of days and she’s afraid you’re judging her. Often she can be worried that she’s going to take too long to cum and you’re going to get annoyed with her. Never ask her if she’s almost ready to cum … no matter how sore your neck is or how tired your tongue is.
If it seems like she’s having a hard time cumming, ask her if she’s ok. If she expresses any concern, reassure her. If she says she doubts she can cum this way, ask her if it feels good – she’s going to say yes. Once she does, reassure her that you love eating her out and tell her to lay back, take her time and enjoy the sensation – don’t worry about cumming – you’ve got all the time in the world. More often than not, that reassurance is all she needs to relax and enjoy it … And the Big O is not far behind.
Sometimes it could take her a while to get there. Give her breaks every once in a while from stimulating her clit. It can get very sensitive. Go back to licking her outer lips, move back to the inner ones and then start slowly stimulating the clit again.
A lot of the time you can tell when she’s getting close because her breathing will change. She might breath deeper or faster or she could even hold her breath. You might also notice that her thighs start to spasm. Or she may grab the sheets in her fists. Her back may arch. You might even have to chase her pussy around with your mouth if she begins to writhe in ecstasy.
One body signal you’ll also want to pay attention to is when she puts the palm of her hand down on top of your head. That’s her instinctively trying to push you off. Not necessarily because she wants you to stop but possibly because it’s become too sensitive and she needs a break. Let her tell you when you can start again and then ease back into it by working your way in from her outer lips.
By taking your time, reading her body language and performing the above mentioned suction techniques on her clitoris, you are very likely to give her an incredibly intense clitoral orgasm – possibly the best she’s ever had!
She may gasp or scream. She may contort her entire body in uncontrollable delight. She might even squirt. Just whatever you do, stop when she asks. Things can get very sensitive down there once she’s cum. If you keep going once it gets too sensitive, it won’t feel good for her anymore. Instead, stroke her thigh with your hands or kiss her under her naval. Let her ride out the aftershocks.
When you’re done and she’s had time to regain her ability to speak, you can ask her how she liked it. You can also ask what parts she liked – remember those parts for next time … and do them even more!
And don’t forget – oral sex is usually just foreplay. You still get to have good old fashioned regular sex with her too! Could life get any better!?!
Keep practicing your oral techniques and you can develop a skill that will make you very popular with the ladies – both with sex workers and potential romantic interests.
Enjoy all that pussy!
Until next time!
–D at @workinggirlssix