How to get your Spouse excited about seeing sex workers
Welcome to the third part of my series which details how a guy in a committed relationship can see sex workers with his significant other’s enthusiastic approval.
If you haven’t read the first two parts, you can find Part 1 HERE where we introduce the idea of compersion.
If you just missed Part 2, you can find it HERE. This is where we talk about the rules you’ll want to follow while embarking on this journey so you don’t ruin your relationship.
And now that you’re all caught up, I’m quite sure you wanna know how to get the ball rolling!
Porn is the key!
Trying something different in the bedroom is always fun. And incorporating porn as part of that can be quite stimulating.
The reason you want to watch porn with your spouse is so that you can gently introduce her to the idea of you being turned on by someone else but still including her in the fun. Porn obviously doesn’t involve another person so the jealousy factor should be relatively low.
If you’ve never included porn in the bedroom, just tell her you want to try something new. Depending on her personality, she’ll be all for it or she’ll question your motives.
If she’s questioning, that’s the first sign of jealousy. You want to turn this jealousy into security. Assure her that it’s something you want to enjoy with her – that you both can get turned on by watching it together.
If she’s still unsure, ask her if there’s anything she’s ever fantasized about seeing. Whatever she says, chances are, there’s porn related to that – so put it on.
While you’re watching it with her, make sure you’re snuggled up together. Stroke her, nibble her a little, get things going. The more she gets turned on, the more she’ll relax. A little wine helps with this too. The more she relaxes, the more she’ll want to reciprocate.
While you’re watching, ask her for oral sex. Chances are, she’ll agree to it. This is where she is allowing you to watch another naked female while she pleasures you – an important mind-shift. Sit back, watch the porn while she takes care of you … But don’t cum. Before you cum, stop yourself and make sure you take care of her.
If she insists on making you cum, that’s good, but it is important that you make the effort to satisfy her before yourself. And if she did make you cum first, congratulations, she has started to feel the first glimmerings of compersion. You are on your way.
This next part is important. Whether she insists you cum first or not, you need to enthusiastically return the favour. Eat her out longer and more enthusiastically than you ever have before! Have passionate thrusting sex that she won’t soon forget! Make the session really memorable for her.
And then, after you’re both glowing from your intense session, make sure to make a comment along the lines of “holy fuck, did I ever like watching that with you!” The important part of that statement is the “with you.”
This makes her feel that it was something you did together – not that watching a naked pornstar got you off and she was just there as your spunk recepticle. She has to feel that it was about you and her – not just you getting off while you watch porn. If she asks why you liked it so much, explain that it was because it turned you on knowing that she was into you watching it.
The good part is, you won’t be lying. Watching porn while you both get each other off is really hot.
Your partner will go away remembering how turned on you were and how you good you made her feel because of how turned on you were. Then the idea of watching porn during love making will remind her of how good sex is when you watch it.
Over the next few love making sessions, you can try to bring porn into it again sometimes … Just not every time. If you do, she’ll start to feel that you can’t get aroused unless you’re watching porn. She has to know that you like having sex with her … because of her. Be sure to make some of the sessions happen without porn too. But when you do watch the porn, make an extra effort to really satisfy her.
And this exercise can take months. Don’t rush trying to get to the next step. Enjoy these sessions. Afterall, you are having great erotic sex with the woman you’re in a relationship with.
With your porn, you also need to become strategic. Pick your videos out in advance. This serves two purposes: 1) she may get turned off if you’re spending too much time trying to find the perfect clip to watch while she’s waiting for the fun to happen and 2) it allows you to steer the porn towards the next step – seeing strippers. Pick an erotic lapdance video which ends up being more than a lapdance. Porn producer, Spizoo has a great series called “The Stripper Experience” that can serve nicely.
You can use the porn to work both as something erotic to watch while you’re going at it but, more importantly, as a conversation starter.
While watching an erotic stripper video, you can mention something along the lines of how you’ve always fantasized about going to a strip club with her. And then drop it. She’ll ask for more, but don’t push. Just say maybe it’d be something fun to do in the future.
If she gets jazzed about it, talk about it more while you’re enjoying each other. Build up the fantasy.
If she seems a little uncomfortable with it, just shrug it off like it was just a fun thought and keep having great sex with her. The little nugget of your fantasy will stick with her until next time you guys fool around. She likely will have thought about it quite a bit.
In the future, she may bring it up again. She may be interested but may need reassuring. Let her know that lots of couples go to strip clubs together. Explain that if you did go, you’d do everything in your power to make her comfortable – including leaving even two minutes after getting there if she hated it. Again, it’s about making her comfortable at this point.
One thing you have to be very conscious of though is not to push it. If she becomes uncomfortable in the slightest, drop it. Let her know that it’s just a fun fantasy that you’ve had and that you wouldn’t ever make her do anything she doesn’t want to do.
If her reaction makes it seem like she will never set foot in a strip club, another suggestion you could make would be for you to go by yourself, not get any dances, get really turned on by the strippers on stage and then come home to her. Let her know that the strippers are nothing more than porn to you.
She may say that she’s not sure or she’s really uncomfortable. That’s ok. It may take her time to warm up to the idea. Keep doing the porn fantasy with her where you watch different stripper porn clips on occassion when you have your fun nights. She will come to know how turned on you get by it … And see how well you treat her when you get turned on that way.
She may eventually get comfortable with it. Or she may not. Remember not to push it. If you do, she’ll become more against it. Be casual about. Maybe don’t even bring it up again for weeks or months. But when you guys talk about fantasies, mention it again.
If you’re having a conversation where she’s considering it, points you can mention to make her more comfortable with the idea could include:
- She could go with you.
- You leave if she’s uncomfortable.
- You could go by yourself but not get a dance.
- Keep in mind that the girls have zero interest in you … They are there to make money not find a boyfriend or steal a husband.
- Think of the dancers as porn in real life. You don’t physically interact with them (ie, no touching) … But they’re up more close and personal than porn.
- When you get home, you will be so turned on it’ll be worth her while because SHE was the one who sent you – her being into it is what makes it so hot.
And if all goes well, you’ll be heading over to a strip club with your spouse’s approval … And maybe even with your spouse as well.
Check out our next feature where we prep you for going to the strip club and how to make it fun … For both of you!
Until next time…
–D @ Workinggirlssix https://twitter.com/Workinggirlssix