How to Get Your Spouse Excited About You Seeing Sex Workers
If you haven’t read the previous four installments, jumping in here will just set you up to destroy your relationship. Please, read the previous four posts:
Aren’t you glad you read all that now? Cool!
Let’s have a look at what happens if you’ve crossed a line during any of this. The repercussions mean that your partner feels betrayed, she’s upset for maybe allowing you to do something she now regrets and she feels like the validity of your relationship is now in question. Some serious stuff.
But what triggered it? She may have agreed to you getting a lapdance. She may have been all caught up in the moment and sent you. But now that the passion of everything has passed, she can’t stop picturing you with naked stripper on your lap. And it’s upsetting to her.
In these situations, you have to give her time and reassurances. Let her know that now that you know she feels this way, you will never push to go again. Remind her that the lapdance was just porn for you. It meant zero compared to her.
You may just have to give her time to get over it. But keep reassuring her while also respecting her space.
Given time, she should come around. However, whatever you do, don’t bring up going again. Even when she has forgiven you.
If you think enough time has passed, you can bring porn back into the bedroom. She may surprise you and start talking about the last time you went to the strip club. Don’t push to go back, but let her be the one to bring it up. When she does this, make sure to have incredible sex with her again. Let her know through how you behave that this turns you on a lot.
Take it slowly and you may find that she’s back into it … You just need to know which part of what happened bothered her and be willing to forgo it until she’s ready to consider it again.
On the other hand, in some instances, the wound may run deeper and she may not be able to get over it with just time and talking. At this point, you may want to seek out a relationship counsellor. It shouldn’t come to this … But if it does, you’ll probably want to put your relationship ahead of seeing sex workers.
Now, if the risk of that kind of danger hasn’t turned you off, it may be time to explore going to a spa.
How do you bring that up? Porn, of course!
While you’re having another passionate night, introduce a porn video that features a sexy masseuse giving a guy an erotic massage. If you need help finding that kind of video, look up Nuru – you won’t be disappointed.
Porn is always fun to watch while you’re fooling around. If she asks why massage porn, just say it looks hot. Let her watch it with you. Tell her you’d love to have a massage like that one day. She might even say ok.
Or she might not.
If she’s initially against it, you can jokingly remind her that the difference between a lapdance and a massage is the amount of clothes you wear. You can suggest you keep your underwear on throughout and you don’t cum. Maybe do it on your birthday. Again it’ll just be like porn for you … But you always go back home to her.
Don’t push it, though. It’s a big step. You probably won’t go straight away. Keep watching porn … And occasionally work in massage porn. Keep going to strip clubs. Keep texting her while you’re there. Some day she may just surprise you with the green light to a massage parlour.
But don’t bug. Don’t want it every time. And remember to keep the fun about the two of you … Not just you seeing who else you can see.
One day, you may both decide for you to get an erotic massage – maybe together, maybe just you or maybe just her (you can have compersion too, you know.) We’ll focus on the idea of just you for now.
Before you go, it’s the same type of discussion as you had before you went to a strip club. Things you need to discuss can include: how long will your session be, are you fully naked, does she touch your privates, what can you touch on her, do you kiss, is it ok if you cum, can you make her cum and so much more. Together you can even pick out the attendant you’re going to book.
Some massage parlours offer extras. For these you should also factor in: should you perform oral sex on the attendant, should the attendant do it on you, do you have sex with her and, again, so much more.
And I always urge you to use protection. Nothing takes the fun out of things like passing on an STI to your partner. And if you think you’re willing to take the risk, remember that if the attendant is willing to do bareback with you, there’s a good chance that she’s willing to do bareback with a lot of guys … everyday. That risk has suddenly gone pretty high. And there’s some pretty serious stuff out there that you can’t just treat with antibiotics. Use protection!
Going to a massage parlour pretty much follows the same formula as going to a strip club. Your wife is at home with some wine watching porn. You text her here and there to keep her feeling part of it. Be sure to make the experience about you and your partner the whole time. If she begins to feel insecure, reassure her without trying to pressure. If at the last minute she doesn’t want you to go, cancel your appointment and go home, be positive and make her feel great. That way she doesn’t feel bad about cancelling and she may feel more comfortable next time.
While you’re getting your erotic massage, explain all the rules at the start to your attendant. She will always be more than cool with it. She’ll probably have some rules of her own. Now be sure to follow your rules. It can be very tempting at this point to just say “fuck it” and break all the rules … But then you’ve cheated (and the whole reason you’re doing it this way was because you didn’t want to cheat)
and there’s a good chance she’ll figure it out.
When you get home, follow the same guidelines you would follow after coming back from a lapdance. Tell her what she wants to know. But make damn sure to have incredible sex with her, eat her out, whatever. Remember, she’s sending you there to enhance what the two of you have in the bedroom. She’s been kind enough to do this for you (compersion is awesome) you should really return the favour so it doesn’t end up feeling one sided.
Now, when you have sex in the future, she may want to hear about how it turned you on. She’s really getting into it. Indulge her and make it fun. Talk about what you’ve done with lapdances and massages and talk about what you’d like to do in the future … Maybe a duo or with an escort. You can even bring porn in for either of those scenarios to get her fantasizing about it. Or maybe you’d like to involve her in a massage – some women would like it, some may not.
The jump from a massage parlour to an escort should not be too much of a stretch for her. The rules always need to be discussed, the honesty and trust has to be there and it has to always be about the two of you having fun – not a way for you to have fun without her.
Think of this: she loves you so much that she wants you to find sexual satisfaction with someone else as an enhancement to your sex life. That is incredible! Treat her well because, I’m sure you know, not a lot of women are this open minded.
Also, keep in mind that because your partner has sent you out for some fun, it may not be a free pass for infidelity. You shouldn’t stop by the massage parlour on your lunch hour without her knowing. If you haven’t discussed that, don’t assume it’s ok. If you have discussed it and she’s good with it … Nice!
Just remember that the key here is for it to be something you both enjoy. Every relationship is different, everyone’s fantasies are different and everyone’s levels of compersion are different. Accepting that and having fun within those boundaries can make for a very erotic, satisfying long and healthy relationship.
And if you’ve gotten to this point, or a slightly different point that works for the two of you, congrats! Compersion really is awesome! Enjoy all the sex!
Until next time,
–D @Workinggirlssix https://twitter.com/Workinggirlssix