How to get your wife excited about you seeing a sex worker.
As you recall, Working Girls in the SiXXX ran a Twitter survey asking why some guys have never seen a sex worker before. Interestingly, 20% of the gents who responded said it was because they were in a committed relationship.
To the guys who answered that, congrats. Loyalty and honesty to your significant other is commendable and shows the level of care and respect you have for her. (That’s not to put down those who see sex workers without their significant others knowing – everyone’s individual situation is different.)
But for those guys who haven’t seen a sex worker because of their relationship status, let me ask you this: would you go see a sex worker if your significant other wanted you to? If it turned her on? If your sexual satisfaction in the arms of another woman contributed to your partner’s sexual satisfaction?
Seems like a ridiculous fairy tale, doesn’t it? The only conceivable reaction that your partner could have to you being with another woman is to throw all your clothes onto the front lawn and light your car on fire in a fit of betrayal fueled rage.
But the feeling of arousal or joy from one’s partner’s sexual satisfaction with someone else is a real thing and has just recently begun to be examined openly.
This feeling is known as compersion. Think of compersion as the complete opposite emotion of jealousy. It’s like when someone is genuinely happy for someone else when something good happens to that other person – like winning the lottery. Sure there’s jealousy … But if it’s someone you really care about, like a parent or child, the happiness for them far outweighs the jealousy … if there even is any jealousy at all.
Compersion is that same feeling of happiness for someone else … except with sex. You feel happy or aroused by the other person’s sexual satisfaction.
However, compersion isn’t the emotion that most people default to naturally when they think about their partner being with someone else. Society has always stressed monogamy and the violation of that monogamy naturally triggers jealousy. Just think about your partner being with another man – yep – that’s the default to jealousy I was talking about.
But, with an open mind, confidence in their relationship and a lot of positive re enforcement, people can learn to let go of jealousy and embrace compersion.
Now you might be thinking – nope, the swinger’s life isn’t for me! I don’t want to meet up with some couple, have sex with the guy’s wife while he has sex with mine. And it most certainly doesn’t have to be about that. (Unless you want it to be.)
Let me paint a picture of how it could be. Imagine an evening where you and your partner plan some fun. You have a drink together, you open up your laptop and both start looking at available sex workers in your area. She rubs your crotch while you’re looking – she’s as turned on as you are. Together, you select a woman who you both think you’d enjoy being with.
You make the arrangements to see the selected provider and prepare to go. You and your partner review ground rules and then you head out.
You have earth-shattering sex with the gorgeous provider while your wife or girlfriend is at home enjoying a glass of wine, watching porn and fantasizing about the fun you’re having. You come home to a partner who is beyond ready to go. You fuck her while she begs to hear every detail of what happened with the other woman.
Or what if she surprised you with a sexy call girl on your birthday and told you to have fun? Or hired a stripper for you and then gave you head while you watched the performance?
Sounds a little more interesting now, doesn’t it?
Well it’s not something that can happen overnight. Or over a couple of weeks. Or can be forced to happen. It can’t be rushed. It’s something that may take months or years to get to.
Now you might be thinking that you don’t want to wait that long for this to happen! Months? Years??? You want it now!!!
Don’t blame you. Just keep in mind that these months and years can be the most sexually rewarding ones you’re ever likely to experience. It’s not months and years of waiting in sexual frustration. The journey of getting to that place with your wife or girlfriend is full of erotic pleasures that you both will love. And if you don’t get there, at least you had some mind-blowing sex while trying.
Some of you might be reading this and wanting to do it but may have already begun seeing sex workers without your spouses knowing. This can still work for you … if you make the commitment to yourself to stop completely and follow the steps outlined in the next few posts to start doing things with your partner’s involvement. If you’re looking to do this because you feel guilt, this approach may help alleviate some of that.
In the next few blog entries, I’ll share with you the steps of this journey from watching porn with your partner, to visiting strip clubs, getting lapdances, visiting massage parlours and ultimately seeing an escort. I’ll go over things that will work, things that won’t and the pitfalls to avoid so you don’t ruin your relationship altogether.
Worth the risk? I’ll let you decide.
Until next time.
–D @Workinggirlssix https://twitter.com/Workinggirlssix